I have been trying to restrict the number of pictures of faces and other details from old buildings that I put on this blog by putting the pictures on Instagram instead. This has meant that I have been exposed to the advertisements that are interspersed through the stream of other Instagram users' pictures, and they have been making me feel confused.
This is because the objects being advertised are so often things that I cannot even begin to imagine the purpose of.
Let me show you a few of the latest:
What the hell are these?
I thought these were perhaps false teeth but looking closer I realise that that is a mad idea, as they are loose - is there some new craze for playing Jacks, but with teeth, that I don't know about? But then there'd be a small ball, surely?
Is the purpose of these things the prevention of the spread of Athlete's foot? And why would you want 3, when you only have 2 feet?
These are just weird
And is this something for a sadist or just a thing to plug into a device or a heavily disguised umbrella?
More strange fingernail related merchandise - labels to remind you what those things are at the end of your fingers? Do many people need that? Is it a good business model? They are cheap and you do get a lot of them. Should I buy a pack? Might I one day be glad I'd bought labels for my nails?
Mini computer - I love mini! But this is so mini it is useless so what is it - it's too big for a dolls' house and too cheap to actually function, even if you could sharpen your fingertips to points so as to use the tiny keyboard. Puzzling.
But not as puzzling as a lavatory paper roll divided into tiny rectangles - a Greta Thunberg inspired effort not to waste paper perhaps? For people with very tiny - oh, I'm not even going to think about it actually
Clearly there are all sorts of eccentrics in the world so anything is possible. I do apologise if you in fact put one of these things on each night to stop your chin falling off - I do not mean to be offensive, I've just never encountered such a thing.
But look, here's another person wearing the contraption - they must be normal and I must be the crazy one:
There are these objects too - and, excitingly, for $2 you get 2 pieces!!! But why do you want to put two pieces of clear blue plastic over your ears? Why? I am ancient and I've never felt the slightest desire or impulse to do such a thing, even at that very reasonable price:
Some of the things aren't odd at all - at least not odd in a self-adorning way. What they are though is absolutely impossible to understand. What can these two objects be for? I've looked at them and looked at them and I just cannot tell what their purpose is at all (and the second one, by the standards of objects sold on Instagram, is extremely pricey)
My guess is that those fingernail thingies have something to do with getting your fingernails painted. Probably protects them while they dry.
ReplyDeleteThose toe socks are socks, I think, & the reference to getting 3 for the price of 2 refers to pairs, not individual socks.
The mini sized toilet papers are probably just pads, the sort of thing you might use to remove makeup from your eyes.
The chin straps are probably for keeping your double chin from developing, or keeping your mouth closed while you sleep, for whatever reason. Maybe preventing snoring.
Your docility in the face of toe socks & odd little bottles on fingertips & sleeping with slings on your head (my guess was snoring prevention but yours makes more sense as why would the lone man bother [unless he was full of optimism about not being alone all night]) is admirable. But what about the twigs with screws & the blue ear jellies & the $40 inexplicable?
DeleteI never see any of those things on instagram, and am I ever glad! Would hate to have to think about any of them.
ReplyDeleteWatch out, I may soon have more to show you.
DeleteThe first items are cleft sticks, to be used by journalists stuck in the Scoop era. The pins allow the editors to stick the dispatches into the office bulletin board once received from the runners. (If you now wish to go off and inspect rhinoceros-hide whips in a marked manner, I will certainly understand, and may even promise to be good.)
ReplyDeleteThe just weird thing, by its bulb and markings, appears to be a thermometer. The jaw wraps could be to prevent the nighttime grinding of teeth, or to keep the the jaws properly aligned. (In the 1980s, one heard--I heard--a good deal about temporo-mandibular joint (TMJ) difficulties. But this was among exercise buffs.)
The second-last items are planes, I think.
What a miserable 1980s you must have had. And don't planes usually have wings (oh yes, I do know what you mean really - and I don't think that white thing quite fits the bill, but nice try)
DeleteI read your blog but am not on Instagram so I do miss your pictures.
ReplyDeleteSusan
I'm with you zmkc, these are just weird. Actually, though if you come across one for keeping the mouth just a little bit open when you sleep, I'd be mighty grateful. Seems I'm clenching a bit these days. Of course, I don't want to pay more than $2.50.
ReplyDeleteHow do you know you are clenching? I shall keep a look out in any case
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