For some reason my daughter chooses to live in Bristol. She could live in Australia, where there are no unsavoury people at all, (as any fule know), but instead she chooses to live in Bristol, and to read the Bristol Evening Post, which carries reports about her fellow Bristolians - such as this one about a man who mistook a bunch of flowers for 'a small Chinese boy':
' Bristol burglar found in his pants, trying on ladies' clothes
A MIND-bending pill was the reason a burglar was found in his underpants, trying to decide what to wear from a selection of clothes which included women's dresses.
Jimmy Nash was under the after-effects of drugs when he entered the Knowle home, made himself a cup of tea and laid out the householders' clothes on their bed, Bristol Crown Court was told.
When he was disturbed he apologised, said he meant no harm and would send any clothes he borrowed back, with "a few quid".
His defence team told the court he believed a small Chinese boy had invited him into the house – the "boy" turned out to be a bunch of flowers.
Nash, 43, of Kildare Road, Knowle, admitted burglary in October.
Judge Carol Hagen described the episode as incomprehensible, especially as Nash lived nearby, and said the most serious aspect was the impact caused to the family. She told him to do 200 hours of unpaid work over the next 12 months.
Julian Howells, prosecuting, said the occupants of a terraced home in Andover Road returned to find the family dog outside. The man of the house found the back door unlocked and went in, the court heard.
Mr Howells said: "He went upstairs and found the defendant standing there in his underpants, next to a bed. He was drying himself off and in front of him there was clothes laid out, including clothes of the lady of the house.
"The defendant apologised and said he had not come to cause problems and he had just wanted a cup of tea and some food. He said he was being chased by the police."
When interviewed Nash said he had caught his girlfriend with a friend, there had been a confrontation and he left the area.
He said he saw a helicopter and went into "stupid mode and ran off like a crazy man".
When he got the urge for a cup of tea he went into the victim's home, let the dog out and had some tea.
He said he planned to change from his wet clothes and accepted that even though he would have sent borrowed clothes back the householders would find his conduct "freaky".
He said he was under the influence of cocaine at the time, and later said he may have taken a hallucinogenic pill.
The court heard the intrusion left a "sickly effect" on the householders, and women's clothing was thrown away in case Nash tried them on.
David Martin, defending, said: "It's completely bizarre.
"This was completely out of character. He genuinely does not want them to feel any insecurity. He was behaving extremely bizarrely." '
I wonder if my daughter's choice is influenced by her commitment to her art and her desire for inspiration.
Gloss on text … - *… Main Course.* My friend John Timpane has a wonderful poem in this issue called "There Must Be Some Mistake." You have to scroll down to find it, but it...
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