Thursday, 16 December 2010

Healthy Smoking

At the shop today, a woman was buying some fags. 'No, not that one - give me one with a less horrible picture,' she gasped, between frame-shaking coughs. After some toing and froing, a box that only showed a gangrenous leg, rather than diseased gums or a misshapen blackened tongue and rotting larynx, was selected from the stock. While the woman unloaded shovelfuls of money onto the counter for her purchase, I looked at the packet, wondering why I'd ever touched the things. It was then I noticed the slogan printed along the side of the wrapper: 'Rich, sun-dried tobacco', it said. Now how could that be harmful? It's just a lovely natural product, full of the goodness of fresh air and sunshine. The noise of the woman barking out great lumps of tattered lung onto the linoleum interrupted these foolish thoughts.

6 comments:

  1. I suspect that evoking images of a death that'll only happen quite a long time in the future may encourage some young people to smoke. Maybe it'd be better to appeal to something more immediate by covering ciggies in a layer of acid which blisters their texting fingers. Just a thought. (And from an ex-smoker too ;-) )

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  2. There was an advertising campaign a while back visually linking smoking with impotence. As I recall, the cigarette dangled--REALLY dangled--from the hand. I don't know how well it did.

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  3. Terrible things, but, it has to be said, one of the great small pleasures of life.

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  4. Oh dear, this is too priceless zmkc...particularly the sun-dried tobacco. At first my eyes deceived me and I thought you were going to say that they are now actually flavouring cigarettes with fruit and vegetables. Anyhow, you can just see the marketing people

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  5. oh dear, trigger finger! As I was saying ... sitting around the table coming up with things like that!

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  6. Murr - that might be why the woman had no husband with her.
    Recusant - I used to be convinced they prevented sinusitis.
    Gadjo - do people smoke much there? Yugoslavia was one huge ashtray in the eighties.
    Whispering - the brand was Pall Mall if you want to make them part of your five vegetables and fruit per day.

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