When I say “abroad” in the heading to this post, I mean Ireland in this instance. I suppose I’m always abroad, as a person born with two passports - (for the literal-minded reader, I should point out that I wasn't actually clutching the documents, one in each hand, as I emerged into this strange place called reality; at that stage I merely possessed the right to them) - especially lately, while the country I normally call home - Australia - has been rather hurtfully unwilling to allow the return to their own shores of members of its citizenry who were unpatriotic enough to be caught abroad when a virus turned up.
Thought No. 1:
Given this thing called Irish Mist, which is rarely not absent when you go out of the door in Ireland, is there a solution available for those among us driven by advancing years to the wearing of spectacles all the time - something that might combat the problem of being unable to see after five minutes chugging along through said mist on a bicycle? Tiny versions of windscreen wipers, I’m thinking, easily fixed on and taken off the glasses, complete with an even tinier energy source.
Thought No. 2:
Is the good natured friendliness encountered in rural Ireland matched by the inhabitants of any other European country? I’m not fool enough to imagine that it has any great depth to it, but, like manners, the apparent goodwill people who aren't actually acquainted show to each other in the countryside in Ireland definitely smooths the business of daily life.
Thought No. 3:
Am I the only person in the world who never again wants to read or hear the pronouncements of -
(a) Neil Ferguson of Imperial College;
(b) Stanley Johnson of the Institute of Bluster and Bombast, who I used to think was only afflicted by one of the most serious cases of attention-seeking so far seen in the 21st century (and that is saying something, even though we are less than a quarter the way in) but I now fear may also harbour a fondness for the current regime in China, the causes of which I would not care to speculate on, libel laws being what they are;
(c) Rachel Johnson, who has inherited a case of attention-seeking from somewhere or someone and, the more she is rewarded, the more she reveals herself as an unoriginal bore.
(Please submit suggestions for figures to occupy the positions at (d) to (z) and beyond.
Thought No. 4:
By now I should be moving on to the weighty issues I believe that I may have intended to rave on about when I began this post. However, I've just seen some pictures and have instantly forgotten anything serious. The pictures in question are those that have been chosen to be sent out on Christmas cards from members of the Royal Family.
First there is Prince William's:
Does anyone else wish Prince William hadn’t chosen a Christmas card photograph in which he is shown wearing shorts with his legs wide open? I am not making some sort of lewd aspersion; I just looked at the picture and immediately felt the central focal point of that picture is dominated by leg and beige chino material and that is not a focal point I would choose. There are an awful lot of legs in fact in that picture. Only the Duchess of Cambridge appears to be legless, for which I don't blame her - I wouldn't be able to deal with the life she has married into in any other way.
Mind you, the Royal standard in Christmas card photographs has this year been plumbed by William’s father. Here's the one he has chosen; it makes the Cambridges look like design geniuses by comparison:
In The Cultural History of Modernity, Egon Friedell writes about a royal progress in Spain, I think in the days of Philip V. This passed through a town that produced textiles, and the town representatives presented the queen with some stockings. Or at least they tried to. They were severely rebuked by an official of the court, who said among other things, "You are to consider that the Queen of Spain has no legs."
ReplyDeleteI think that a pair of khaki or chino trousers would have looked equally casual and middle class. Or has the UK recently annexed southern California, and nobody told us here on the East Coast? It would be a fine look for the Duke of Pasadena or the Prince of Chino.
The more I see of Prince William - not just physically, ie amount of leg, but also regarding what he says - the more I think it is time to follow Auden's strategy for a monarchy.
DeleteIrish Mist: there are treatments for windshields that are said to shed water so fast that one does not need windshield wipers. I'd hesitate to trust such a coating on my glasses. I suppose you could get contact lenses, though I never have.
ReplyDeleteGod save her indeed – and God save us from people, whether royal or not, whose idea of a Christmas card is a photograph of themselves. As for men in 'shorts' – don't get me started...
ReplyDeleteYou're so right about the photographs, but surely shorts are forgiveable in hot weather, while nothing to be proud of?
DeleteI can't keep up with the smart and witty conversation here, but I will say that I "read"the Charles pic differently, as either (a) a touching scene of helping though who would need such help with donning a mask is moot (b) another excuse for touching Camilla, which could be, well, touching, depending on your point of view.
ReplyDeleteI would stick with the principle that cards have images related to the festival, not the sender.
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